Coming from South Africa where many people could be carrying the legacy of shame from apartheid years – and possibly from the colonial past – I was riveted to hear Cheryl Richardson in this interview with Jessica Ortner during the World Tapping Summit 2014 discuss how we may be carrying generational shame within and can tap this away!
Below is my summary of the interview – because you may have missed it when it was aired free – though there is a way to catch up and buy all the terrific interviews from the Summit - go here.
We start “guilting and shaming” ourselves as kids – and can continue this toxic habit all our adult lives.
Cheryl Richardson says it is vital to heal and release patterns of guilt and shame forever with EFT Tapping – the super effective way to effectively dissolve the toxic guilt and shame stories we tell ourselves.
CONTROLLING US AS KIDS
Our parents and educational system were quick to use shame to control us as children. And it can affect us with lifelong patterns of perfectionism for instance – not wanting to invoke the shame of criticism of others because of traumas from childhood.
Or putting up with bad behavior from family and friends because we want to keep the peace and be liked by everyone – people pleasers.
It’s a way of staying safe.
What about Inherited Shame?
Carrying cultural guilt and from our family lines could explain a tendency to seek punishment and self sabotage.
Take weight issues and over eating food for example. You may want to get healthy and fit yet you keep consuming things that sabotage that…guilty and punishing yourself…not even aware of where it comes from.
The answer says Cheryl is to tap on guilt for present day issues - plus for any legacy of guilt you may be carrying.
What about inherited guilt as a woman?
For centuries women had to keep their mouths shut and keep themselves in place – suppressing feelings of guilt or shame if they desired freedom from their given roles as mothers and housekeepers with very little power in the family.
Women now have far more freedom of choices than our ancestors ever had.
Some of the tapping scripts Cheryl and Jessica offered in this interview were tapping for:
- Debilitating guilt – that haunts me – hurts so much – that just won’t go away – feel bad about myself – can’t stand being with – this guilt – this horrible guilt.
- Carrying a legacy of guilt – like a back pack on my back – I choose to release it now. For my parents and their parents – people who came before – profoundly accept myself and them and this history.
- What prevents me from moving forward in life – choose to take a deep breath, release this weight and take a step forward.
- Can’t identify – choose to release it now…my mother had, father had, their parents had, any authority figure who influenced me as a child…
- This legacy of guilt – heavy backpack – heavy weight of guilt that belongs to someone else…letting it go…letting it go completely…releasing this weight – letting it go forever . Releasing my mother, my father, everyone who came before me… who carried guilt themselves…I release
- I feel lighter, freer, ready and able to live my life more fully and completely.
Addressing the “LITTLE KID INSIDE”
- She thought she was the cause of everything – interrupts my movement forward by believing she is in charge of everything and cause of everything – choose to let her go and play now.
- Kid deeply connected to my guilt – release her and live my life more fully.
- This little kid inside who feels so guilty – responsible for every bad thing – this little kid – who trips me up today as an adult – by making me feel guilt – and then I seek self-punishment.
- Because of this shame spiral from the past…I may eat things I shouldn’t, hang out with people I shouldn’t, stop myself from doing things I really want to do – formed by this little kid just trying to stay safe.
- Safe now – release this guilt – this child
- I am free from guilt – I feel at peace with the unfolding of my life.
Cheryl ended on this words of wisdom:
We are souls on planet earth having human experiences – doing the best we can…as we grow and evolve…look back…diffuse that shame so not beating yourself up for it.