That’s when EFT tapping can help release the pain and help you break-free.

Recently I shared a client story in Gary Craig’s EFT newsletter about Tina (not her real name) who was struggling to find love because she felt emotionally distant from boyfriends and did not know why.  During a one-hour EFT tapping session she recalled a traumatic incident of being molested by a man on a train when she was 12 years old – and the subsequent shame that had “frozen” her ability to speak up for herself or to let a man get too close to her.

As she released the traumatic memory and connected with her Younger Self and promised she would love and take care of her, she felt totally liberated from the past.

I got a warm response from many people who related to the story – including someone asking for help NOW.

“My heart is breaking as I watch my boyfriend move out…I feel helpless and in despair – can you help me?” she wrote. Among her fears was being alone during the December holidays. Here are two suggestions I gave her which may help you or someone you know break free from heartache or obsessing when “he’s just not that into you”.

1. TAPPING EFT + BREAK-FREE FAST FORMULA

Start off with: “Even though I have this heartache, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.”

Tap as you repeat: ” this heartache… this fear of being alone… this anxiety”.

Continue with another round saying:

“Even though I can’t seem to get over him, I love and forgive myself anyway.”

The key is to find the trigger that set it up.

Ask: “WHAT SET THIS UP?” as you continue to tap on your EFT meridian points. Look for the Younger Self – usually in childhood but also possibly in your teens – when something similar happened (emotionally speaking) that is triggering intense feelings of heartbreak, loneliness or abandonment.

Expect a “break-free-aha” that might cause tears as you release the past traumatic or intense memory to help you break-free now. Then, still tapping, send love and comfort to your Younger Self from your Adult Self now.

EFT tapping reinforces the power of healing your pain now as you comfort and reassure your Younger Self.

2. OTHER-HAND WRITING

Try this second method – different from EFT tapping – which also accesses the hurting CHILD WITHIN. It is  called OTHER-HAND/ LEFT HAND (if you are right handed) WRITING AND DRAWING.

Get a blank page journal or simply sit on the floor with a large piece of paper and some pens and crayons. Take a crayon, pencil or pen and start a dialogue with your Inner Child. Your dominant hand speaks for the Adult You. Your other-hand replies from the Child Self.

RIGHT HAND: Hullo Little One. You seem unhappy. I can feel you crying inside… I am hear to listen to you and comfort you… tell me what is upsetting you – how can I help you?

LEFT HAND:  Write a reply with the non-dominant hand which is accessing the emotional side of the brain, providing a way to tap into your Younger Self’s feelings. It may feel strange and difficult at first but persevere and really listen to what she is feeling and NEEDS from you right now.

Let her draw a picture. You will be amazed and what is revealed and communicated. And how much better you will feel as you connect and integrate her into your life. Build trust with this Younger Self. Embrace and hug her as you close your eyes and imagine holding her close… promise her she is NOT ALONE because she has YOU to take care of her.

Use these tools and I guarantee you a leap forward in feeling stronger and more self-confident about coping with a break-up  because your vulnerable Child realizes she has You to take care of her.

Let me know if you have any tips to share about getting over heartache when love hurts!

Love and hugz,

Caryl

THE BREAK-FREE-FAST COACH

Scientists refer to it now as “BRAIN PLASTICITY” and esoterically it is referred to as the LAW OF ATTRACTION.

In my book I devote a chapter to this concept: Your Brilliant Brain. I tell the story of my client who literally “tapped away” his stuck obsessive compulsive brain pattern which had started after he had the equivalent of a stroke by being given too much anaesthetic during an operation. He felt victimized by this event and others which had happened to him – he lived in fear of total healing – in case he was knocked down again.

And  in one session his brain which had felt “hardwired” for victimization was liberated by finding and releasing with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) the childhood event – bullying by his older brother-  which had set him up. He made a decision to heal his life and I believe he rewired his brain from that time on to expect something different.

Previously science said that your brain was hardwired. In other words, you are born with brain cells wired up in a particular way that is unchangeable except that the total brain cell count declines with age.

New discoveries in neuroscience have revamped that view. A common term now used is ‘plasticity’, where the brain moulds, changes, and grows depending upon what you are focusing upon.
It’s why we discipline ourselves to be grateful, give thanks and love what is. Because if you RESIST and gripe and whine and focus on the negative of a situation, you enliven those neural pathways in the brain. Instead, positive thinking encourages brand new connections  between brain cells as you begin to grow an entirely new network connecting brain cells (neurons). This is called a neural network.

Therefore your brain and body is not something that you are simply born with, whose health and functioning you can do nothing about. Instead, you are continually growing, changing,  and shaping your brain and your body. You have far more of an effect on your mental and physical health by what you THINK and pay attention to.

And with practise you can develop great control over what you give your attention to. In a sense, you can build up your ‘attention muscle’ in the same way that an athlete might develop leg or arm muscles. Regular meditation is a great way to do this, and some recent neuroscience discoveries of meditators have confirmed this. Through repetitive meditation their brains grew significantly more neural connections than control groups who didn’t meditate.

It’s why I entitled my book “You Can Breakfree Fast.” I discovered that I myself – and my clients – would have what I call a “break-free-aha” about a specific person/incident/or event that had influenced them to believe or act a certain way. The tears that often came with the realization signified, I felt, the “thawing” of the frozen belief or thought previously embedded in the mind.

When someone is “sick and tired ” of feeling stuck in some area of his or her life – and asks me for a session to “break-free” they expect and are inspired with a chance to start anew in the brain.

Within as little as three hours or less they can get it… they had been set up – or set themselves up -  to be less than they could be, or expect less than they could have from life.

I love that about my work.  Liberating someone who wants to be free.

So never give up – I promise you: YOU CAN BREAK-FREE FAST.

Joe Vitale, Mr Fire, is a mentor who inspires me through his writing and life (I met him in person at the Miracles Weekend in San Diego in 2008 but have followed him for almost a decade). Generosity of heart and action – GIVE GIVE GIVE – is a key piece of advice you cannot ignore in his new book ATTRACT MONEY NOW.
True to his word, he is actually giving away the book as a freeee pdf
Also grooving on the advice of Abraham-Hicks in both book and video entitled: Money and The Law of Attraction

PS IF YOU WANT A QUICKIE BOOST FOR 27 WAYS TO MONEY SUCCESS: Visit Joe Vitale’s blog